Tulu playwright-cum-actor: Anil Santinja

                                                                      

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DIY mission goes kaput

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hese plumbers remind me of doctors. They come with a tool-kit accompanied by a helper, like a doctor with his compounder. “Fix”, both of them do, albeit of different kinds. Nowadays, even a plumber’s fees is no less than a doctor’s. It starts with a couple of hundreds and rises at the multiples of hundred.

     Since I figured plumbing is neither medical science nor rocket science, I decided to take the tools into my own hands when my kitchen tap knob got loose. I dismantled it and removed all the visible screws. I did some of the usual manoeuvres randomly. Viola! It worked! I saved at least a couple of hundreds. And the tap worked for another six months. But after that my techniques did not work.

     Emboldened by my earlier success, this time around I ventured into replacing the tap. I bought a new tap for much less price than these plumbers charge. Beaming with confidence, I got into action. My children were my biggest supporters. We removed the old tap and could fit the new one in its place. It took us almost an hour to fix the tap to its right position, i.e., its nozzle down. At first, it was leaking at the base,  finally we managed to fix it. As no valve was at sight, we could not stop the water supply. My daughter and I were completely drenched by the end of the successful task. Looking at the mess, even my ever nay-saying husband joined us at some stage, but not without murmuring.

     Everything was fine until I felt an acute pain in my back, which I thought had something to do with all the bending I had to do while playing a plumber. The next step was attaching an extension pipe. So I bought an extension pipe for Rs 100 and a thread-like thing to wind around the base of the tap. Though I did not know what the thread-like thing was called, I managed to obtain it by painstakingly describing it to the shopkeeper. This time, I added a pair of cutting pliers to my tool kit.

     I removed the tap, then attached the extension pipe, and again fit the tap. My cheerleaders were keenly watching the process and giving suggestions in between. However much we tried, we could not stop the water leakage. I tried to remove the extension pipe. It refused to budge, but in the process, I hurt my hands. Even the kids gave a try. So we sent an SOS to the last person we usually approach. My husband came fuming, but even he could not do it. He gently hit the pipes to loosen the ends. A thin jet of water appeared. I then bought the most trusted M-Seal and tried to plug the leakage unsuccessfully.

     Now there was no other go than hiring the services of a plumber. The duo did it in a minute. Still the water jet was there. So they concluded there was a crack in the extension pipe.

     I retorted, “How can it be. It’s new.”

     “Who fixed it?”

     I just cannot forget the grin on the face of the plumber when I replied, “It was me”.
“It is damaged because you have tightened it too much,” he said.

     So, he himself brought a new extension pipe and fixed the problem. It cost us another couple of hundreds. Finally, it was back to square one.

An adventure with a scary guest

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one for the day, I was closing the door before going to bed.  But how come I couldn’t do so?  I looked down to check what was obstructing the door. I did not find anything.  But when I looked up, what was it that I saw! A crawling reptile comfortably perched on the door!! 

     My heart skipped a beat or two.  I screamed as loud as I could and ran for life inside the house. Sensing some trouble, my husband and two kids rushed out of their rooms.  Children were panic stricken at the very sight of the creature.  However, my husband put up a brave face. Adding to the woes, was his   over enthusiasm to catch the snake. All of us were dissuading him from taking such a drastic step.  If he was taking a step ahead to catch the slippery creature, his kids were pulling him two steps back !!

     Went out frantic calls to neighbours against the wishes of the man of the house.   Aware of the risk involved in the job, neighbours started trickling in one by one for courtesy sake, if not for anything else.  Everyone was taking a glance at the snake and giving judgments. Someone identified it as a viper, yet another as a krait. Someone suggested bludgeoning and burning it. All through, my husband who does not want to harm such creatures was against killing it.  I for one, who has learnt to identify snakes in theory, was petrified at the very sight of a living specimen.  Finally it was identified as a young one of a python. 

     The man of the house was hell-bent on catching it. Nothing could deter him from his mission. He slowly pushed the snake down on the floor. A neighbor offered to help him. His wife called him out to be extra careful. Another gentleman who was trying to mask his timidness with brave front hushed her up saying “nothing to worry, keep quiet. “  Even in that moment of crisis, I could make out his voice shaking, obviously, out of fear. Still he had taken upon himself the job of offering verbal solace to the frightened souls.

     Aided by the neighbour my husband was able to push the snake into a sack using a stick.  Pronto the sack’s mouth was tied with a rope.  Now the python had a scooter ride with both of them. It was let out safely at some distance from our house.  My young son who was scared to the bone all the while, was mightily impressed with his father at the end. He shook his hand many times and declared   “ I will make my dad famous in my school tomorrow”.

     Now I have become a bit weary while moving around the house, looking up too, sometimes.  Many have told that the python visiting a house is a good omen.  I am waiting endlessly since then for the “good” to happen to us.  The good seems to be more slippery than the snake itself. 

     Buoyed by his apparent success, my husband has all set to start a snake catching service.  The name, already, chosen: Takshak.

                                                                                                                                             --- Sanoor Indira Acharya

Is this the Achche Din for poor farmers?

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ecent ordinance on acquiring land for purposes such as security and defence, infrastructure and affordable housing has come as a bolt from the blue to the farmers of the country who have been eagerly looking forward to Achche Din since the ascent of Narendra Modi to the post of Prime Minister. The ordinance is all set to hurt the very backbone of the agrarian country.

     The honourable Prime Minister who is looked up, rather touted, as the harbinger of good days, seems to have betrayed the very people who elected his party to power anticipating a change for better.

     True, development is his mantra. But why does the buzzword not encompass the agricultural sector which, of course, is in dire need of development?  The field can be made attractive for youngsters by introducing new technology. More funds should be allocated for research and development in the field. The young educated who return to fields can be encouraged by offering incentives.  More importantly, steps should be taken to bridge the yawning gap between the procuring and the selling prices.

     But alas! Poor farmers of this country have become increasingly insecure living the nightmare of their land being snatched at any time. With the Damocles’ Sword hanging over their head, they would not be left with any drive to develop their land. Reassurance to these battered souls appears to be a distant dream. As a consequence, food production will suffer.     The developments will spiral into skyrocketing prices of food items. Food production, which ought to have been placed at the centre of the much touted Make in India slogan, is seen not even at the periphery.

 

     Farmers will get four-times the price of their land as compensation, as per the ordinance. This is nothing but justifying the injustice meted out to the land owners.  There are instances of people splurging the compensation amount on luxuries only to be reduced to penury in later years.  Ultimately these people migrate to cities for a livelihood further straining the fragile urban infrastructure. 

     The recent action of the NDA government of pricing half of the taktal tickets in trains depending upon the demand, goes against the interest of the common people.  Instead of controlling the private travel operators who fleece the passengers, government has toed the same line.

      Prime Minister’s pep talks on every possible occasion like Teachers’ Day and Children’s Day and the feel-good projects such as Swachch Bharat Abhiyan and Good governance Day just give a semblance of the promised Achche Din. However, when it comes to taking concrete decisions, he appears to appease the cream rather than the downtrodden.   The fact that whichever party comes to power, the common man is always left to run from pillar to post, has been proved once again.

Indira R. Acharya

Seashore misadventures

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ince time immemorial beaches have an alluring effect on people’s minds. People of all age groups just love the seaside. For some it’s unwinding, for some it’s soothing, for some it’s fun and frolic, if it’s not any of these, there are people who frequent the beach simply to savour the beauty of its vastness.

     However, it’s mostly the revellers who drown in the sea.  It’s just like any other misadventure of the adrenalin-packed youngsters of today.  The flamboyant youth, who do not want to be looked down upon in their peer group, throw all the cautions to the wind and brave the surging waves.  Such acts of bravado arise on the spur of the moment.  Soon everything goes out of control.

     Such mishaps, however, do not deter the open-space starved Mumbaiites from visiting beaches.  It’s not the beaches that endanger people’s lives, but the mindless acts of people. The sea doesn’t devour us, but we unwittingly offer ourselves to it. We should learn to rein in our impulses and try to follow the beach etiquettes. No amount of warnings and even the lifeguards can save us if we ourselves put our lives in danger.  

Film review: Hyder - Nothing but much ado

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tar-studded reviews of Haider were all over newspapers and television channels as well, immediately after the release of the movie.  Vishal Bharadwaj at the helm and the story adapted from Shakespeare’s Macbeth were the baits to draw the audience to theatres.

     The movie received a standing ovation from cine actors at the end of a special preview, cried a report.  It’s not that I am unaware of the fact that  publicity masquerades  as news during the release of a movie, still I along with my family of husband and two children went to watch it the second day itself.

     As I had read the rave reviews before, I didn’t want to be put down so easily. Hence I kept waiting for the movie to get better, but in vain. The pre-interval part was dragging and the movie caught pace in the later half. 

     For me many of the dialogues were inaudible, making me attentive all the more to catch the curt one liners.  A laborious effort indeed. The blurred frames might have been used to accentuate the gloomy mood, but too many of them marred the beauty of cinematography.

     Shahid Kapur did not seem to suit the intense character of Haider, however, he was a game for the lighter moments of the character. Even Tabu’s acting was not convincing.  The movie would have been still the same even without Irrfan Khan.  Kay Kay Menon justified his role of a lecherous, hypocrite lawyer.  He effectively portrayed his dilemmas and guilt through his stammerings at times.  A sleazy number involoving Shahid and Shraddha Kapur was totally unwarranted.

     Even though I don’t give a complete thumb down to the movie, at the end I was baffled as to why the critics were very liberal on bestowing so many stars upon the movie.  Perhaps, the so called secularist English media might have found a perfect plot to reiterate their conviction that the minorities always suffer at the hands of the majority. 

      Here the culprit was the Indian Army.  Lauding the efforts of Indian Army during the recent Kashmir floods, was just a line at the end to assuage the wound inflicted on the defenders of the country.  When the whole valley is simmering most of the time, such stray incidents might happen.  But it has been projected as a norm in the system. 

Ever evolving motherhood

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